January 31st, 2011

I Confess!

There are times where anybody would have trouble functioning in reality, and obviously I would be one of the many to screw up in incredibly silly ways. To repent over my “idiotic” actions I will confess them and give you the inside scoop! Frankly, there’s nothing really exciting other than the idea of learning how stupidity in a confuzzled twelve year old can evolve into some horrific events.

One of the MOST embarrassing things I have done this month was trying to hand myself a massive brain concussion. It simply began with me sighing and having my eyelids drooping down and wanting to floop down onto the couch. The witness at that moment was my least-favorite pet, the fish. He blubbed about and watched my every move.

I have to admit that my spacial skill wasn’t ever quite that well-rounded, but still the couch was ready to make me it’s sacrifice. As floomping down, my head hit the hard and cold armrest of the couch. At first, I was calm and expressionless, but then I was pretty sure I had began down the path to retardation. My mother’s first reaction was if I had broken something, as in break any of her property in this house. Differentiating the sound between her daughter dying from massive brain cell death and a flower pot cracking must not have been one of the many talents my mother had.

Mother: Did you break one of my flower pots for my orchids?

Daughter: No Mother No… Can you guess what that sound was though?

Mother: The sound of you doing something idiotic and hitting of a flower pot, also you should stop fibbing it’ll make you get cavities.

Daughter: No, but OWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! (The pain had only kicked in then, or maybe it was just a child’s sixth sense to prevent the attakc of dangerous mothers.)

Mother: -Happily Humming along-

Daughter: OWWWWWWWWWW OWWWWWWW OWWW

Mother: Are you Okay?

Daughter: No, No, I only say ow when I mean it!

Mother: What’d you try to slaughter?

Daughter: It wasn’t me! It’s the stupid couch, it’s been plotting against me! I’ve been trying to enjoy a peaceful daydream, and then BLAM it punches the armrest under my head.

Mother: -Bursts out laughing-

Daughter: OWWWWWWWWWWWW (A scream out of shame and embarrassment for having bad spacial skills and real pain)

And only then did my mother rush over, for the rest of the day a massive headache began to invade into my personal privacy. To defend my mother, she does care for me but doesn’t want to dote on me to make sure the affection between me and my sibling is the “same”. Anyways my mother doesn’t respond immediately to sighs or OWWs of pain which can make one feel that their duty is to rot alone in pain. The other most dorkiest thing I’ve done this month was when my grandmother called and completely blew it!

I thought the person who had called was merely a solicitor with the machine introducing some new cleaning product. I recognized the call to be an Out of Area call and decided to mess around with the caller. BLEEP BLOOP BLOP Error we aren’t accepting phone calls right now. And I attempted to speak in foreign languages, unknowing that it was my grandmother I shot insults off the bat such as Take a hike with sharks! I don’t want the product, so stick it in a juice box and suck it. Then the person on the other line hung up. Few minutes later I had the phone ring and it was the same number. Annoyed, I decided to go even harsher with the phrases, I was just about to begin I heard my grandmother’s voice and I just about freaked. I pushed the phone towards my other and hid in my hamper, and I would’ve decided to go in hiding there forever; before I realized that my grandmother would probably think that she had dialed the wrong number instead of telling my mother that her daughter needed an attitude adjustment. With that resolve, I decided to only pick up phone numbers I recognized, like a good little girl   n__n

Edit: Will insert more picture for this post soon :3